Wait, this isn’t what I ordered…
Sometimes in life, you suddenly realize that you are nowhere near the life you planned for yourself. Maybe you’re approaching a milestone birthday and thought that surely by this age you would have things figured out. For some, it means living the single life when all you want to do is be married and have kids. For others, feeling stuck in a relationship or marriage that doesn’t seem to be working. Or a career that is not what you had in mind when you signed up to take out a crippling amount of student loans. So, where do we go from here?
Accept where you are and what led you here. It doesn’t mean you like it or approve of everything that has happened, just that you accept reality as it is. It’s hard to change when you haven’t accepted where you are.
Identity the problem. What do you wish was different? What is it about your job that feels particularly soul sucking? Are there certain patterns that aren’t serving you but you find yourself in them over and over again? Recognizing them is half the battle.
Dream big. What would your dream life look like? In your ideal life, how would you spend your time? Write out your wildest dreams. They might not be so wild after all. You’d be surprised what you can accomplish.
Make a plan. How are you going to make things different? What steps do you need to take to get there? Break it into baby steps and get to steppin’.
Reach out for help. Thinking about counseling to work through some stuff? Find a counselor and get started. Want to break into a career you don’t have experience in? Reach out to your mom’s coworker’s daughter who works in that field. It can be hard to put yourself out there but such great things can happen!
Give yourself a break. Self critical voice? Let’s quiet it down. Remind yourself that you are human, you make mistakes, and that’s okay. Our lives don’t go exactly to plan and that’s okay. Talk to yourself like you would to a friend.
Practice abundance mindset. Visualize your ideal life. Talk about your ideal life as if you are 100% certain you will make it happen (fake it till you make it—cause one day you will believe it). Journal about your goals and make them a reality. Try to keep those limiting beliefs out of your mind (ya know those thoughts that say things like “I can’t do that or those things don’t happen for people like me.”) Mindset makes a huge difference!
Try to have fun. Things aren’t perfect, but you can enjoy life as it is AND improve it. While it can be frustrating, you can still make the most of where you are in this moment while also making big plans for the future. So try to relax and take it easy while planning your dream life. I talked about some of the ways you can relax here.