Healing during the Holidays
It’s the most wonderful time of the year…..or is it? For most of us, things are far from wonderful feeling as we approach the holiday season. This year, the holidays will likely be even more complicated for many of us. There is so much social unrest, political disagreements, and even heated debates on whether to wear a mask or not. It seems that this year families have many more hurdles to a peaceful holiday meal. So, how do you continue your healing during these stressful times? Here’s a few tips.
Come up with a plan. This is a great activity to do in therapy if you are working with someone. Create a plan for the holiday that includes the amount of time you plan to spend with family/in-laws/friends/coworkers or whatever arrangement you have. If you have a partner, come to an agreement that you will stay for X amount of time and stick to it. Plan ahead as to how much you are willing/able to cook or whether or not you can contribute in other ways instead.
Combat loneliness. Some people do not have family or friends nearby and others isolate to avoid the stress. Try to make contact with others, if only via video chat, at least a few times throughout the holidays. You could even plan a virtual get together with family and friends in different locations.
Set boundaries. Setting boundaries with loved ones can be tricky but it can save you a lot of stress. When someone brings up a topic you are not comfortable with (how much you are/aren’t eating, your appearance, politics, your dating life/or lack thereof) you can kindly state your boundary “I’d prefer not to talk about that topic. I’d love to tell you about this other topic instead.” So maybe you prefer not to talk about your dating life but you would love to share about your most recent project at work.
Self-Care. You knew I was going to say this one. Make time to do something that brings joy and decreases stress during these times. Maybe that is taking a walk by yourself after the holiday meal. Maybe that involves taking a nap. Whatever it is for you, do it.
Be kind to yourself. Ok, you probably guessed I was going to say this too. So you can’t whip up an entire 3 course meal after working all week? Give yourself a break. Let yourself buy a pie at the store. Ask others to bring a dish. Do what you need to do to allow yourself a chance to breathe. And try not to beat yourself up for not doing as much as years past. I think most of us will agree that this year is not like years past.
Stick with your routine. This is a tough one around the holidays, but can be really helpful. If you have been exercising regularly, meditating, journaling, going to therapy, or even keeping a regular sleep cycle, make time to continue this. If you are traveling to see family, it may be difficult but having a routine gives that sense of normalcy which can be much needed this time of year. You may need to make some adjustments in your routine but keeping it as close to normal may help you feel more balanced.